A mother’s sacrifice for love…

Happy Mother’s Day to all you beautiful women out there. May you truly remember how important you are and how special you are to the plan of life. Keep loving those sweet babes of yours!!

Today I also remember those that struggle to celebrate Mother’s Day for various reasons. My heart goes out to you and I am sorry for the pain and disappointment that may arise. I am immensely grateful to be one of those lucky people that have an incredible mother. One who has shaped, moulded and scolded me into becoming a better human.

Motherhood is hard work, it’s bittersweet work, it’s never-ending work.

Today is a special occasion because it is a day I get to celebrate and praise my own mother. A lady, full of good character and pure love for others. I wanted to highlight some of the wonderful attributes of this woman and share some of the precious things I have learnt from her wisdom and guidance (also known as “Sarah, don’t forget to do x,y,z)

For so many, you picture becoming a mother in a loving relationship, with a good support village around you, financially stable and ready to experience one of the greatest joys of life. Well, what happens when you have two children 18 months apart, in an abusive relationship where you are trapped and have an ultimatum of your life on the line or possibly losing your children if you leave. These were the first few years of my mother star motherhood ‘journey’. Put to the ultimate test of unconditional love and sacrifice.

It’s one thing to put your dreams, aspirations and goals on hold, it’s another to put your life at risk for your children. How I wish it was different for her but I am grateful because this has allowed me to love deeply. Every day I know that I am safe with my mother because of that hard choice she had to make. Every day I work to let go of grudges and disappointments because there is so much more to life. From the very start of my life, I have been fiercely loved. Now you don’t have to go through this type of situation to fiercely love your child/ren but for me, I have learnt to love this way naturally. To love deeply and completely. To view another person’s life as being sacred and invaluable. Thank you to my sweet mother for dedicating every part of your soul to us both.

Carry on to freedom for my mother, she is blessed enough to marry the most incredible man we call Father (stay tuned for my Father’s Day Post in September) only to discover that the freedom she has is only part lived as the genetics from the past live inside her children. Torn every day on how to parent I remember her buying rice milk, going to a special shop for ‘spelt’ flour, going to therapy appointments. I remember her advocating for our success, I remember her sacrificing her day to day activities to keep us safe, and continue to push us to thrive. I remember the research, the information read, the lifestyle changes, anything and everything that could be done to support us.

Years of this devoted love, attention and connection. A mother who would sew every needed outfit for events, attend every sports, activity, concert, musical (even if she did make fun of me to picking up the phone upside down during my one, 5 seconds of fame moment), forgiving us over and over again, driving us to every church dance and activity over an hour away each time. Wrestling with our friends and driving home all the strays (friends, newly acquainted friends and spontaneous I’m sure my mum won’t mind dropping you home friends). Planning weddings, birthdays, driving to and from Brisbane just for a 20min speech and more.

Then there are the times I disappointed her like when I moved from Toowoomba to Brisbane after I graduated high school (very shortly after my brother left for a 2yr church mission in New Zealand leaving her an empty nester after parenting for 19years) without telling her, simply packing up my entire room to have her come home and find it empty. The heartbreak I must have caused her as an ignorant and careless 17yr old. Only to have her turn around and make sure that I had everything that I needed and extend the offer for anything that I might need. Including a car to support me to get out of my own abusive relationship.

Are you understanding how incredibly blessed I am? How have I been so lucky to have such an understanding, forgiving, selfless mother I will never know. As more time goes on and I too experience more of motherhood I am blown away by her resilience and devotion to our care. I am completely dependent on her love and addicted to her soul. She is my best friend, sister, mother and eternal angel.

Some of my favourite things I have learnt from my mother are…

~ How to be the bigger person when interacting with others
~ How to be on time because she only is about 3% of the time and my brother and I despise it haha.
~ How done is better than perfectly unfinished because her perfectionism & procrastination are REAL
~ How to budget, save and take care of finances
~ How to be more patient and understanding with my children
~ How to value others opinions and respect their needs
~ How to love deeply, unconditionally and with full purpose

My mother has plenty of flaws, she knows them, she is working on them, she is always trying to help everyone with everything. She has had her devastating struggles and she still experiences moments of great sadness but she also believes in faith and the desire to be grateful. That is definitely one of the most impactful things I have ever learnt from my mother is to be grateful. This has allowed me to look at my challenges and struggles and understand what I can be grateful for and how I can learn and grow.

To my sweet blessing from heaven. Happy Mother’s Day. Thank you for all your influence on my life and thank you for your devotion to my happiness and that of my family. You are central to our lives and our purpose. You will always be my hero and my example. May you be blessed to outlive me so I never have to spend a day without you.

Love your little girl,
Sarah Kay, xx